Showing posts with label #IBlogForCBC. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #IBlogForCBC. Show all posts

2/11/16

4 Things To Know About Robinson's Galeria's Persian Avenue Before Watching A Lav Diaz' Movie




1. The Persian Ave is a shawarma place in Robinson's Galleria, the new 2016 mall in Cebu, and it's where you can get the fill you need of beef, raw veggies and fresh pita bread that you should always be getting when you're trying not to put junk in your body.

2. The store is a product of Pampanga, and it sources its food from Carbon, which is a plus because we support Carbon market, although we don't know yet whether that's a good thing, since there are no regulation systems yet to monitor whether all the products in Carbon are organic.

3. Higher consciousness requires no labels, but for practical matters it is safe to say that the Beef Shawarma and Shawarma Beef Rice in Persian Ave are hearty, filling and had a serving size that can feed two big, hungry mouths. 

4. Watch Lav Diaz' Norte, The End of History after eating at Persian Ave because you need to lose them calories and the 4-hour film of Lav Diaz could help you burn the meat.




Fly To France This Valentine's Day With Silk Air and Watch French Films



Are you a Cebuano who joins annual Ayala French Film Festivals because you want the next Jacques Audiard film or any foreign film to enlighten you of your daily suffering living the Cebu City Life of heavy traffic, low wages and institutionalized corruption? 

Are you alone this Valentine's because you can't contact your ex-girlfriends, and because all your exes are out there making other men's lives a living hell because clearly these ex-girlfriends are so obsessed with hurting people, controlling them and playing power games with them that the only way they can be saved from their ego-run selves is by reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of now, by the help of a professional mental therapist and by making amends with their parents, but they don't? 

Do you travel but not out of some ego-gratification popularized by what they call "The Selfie Generation", but you travel because you are invited to, say, South Korea to be a representative of the Philippine Government to defend the rights of marginalized persons with disability? 

If so, then you may want to travel to France and get a breather. And you need affordable promo fares from Silk Air to get to France quick because "SILKAIR CELEBRATES SIA’S 50TH YEAR IN THE PHILIPPINES WITH AMAZING FARES AND EXCLUSIVE TRAVEL PERKS"

It will also provide $50 cash back for every purchase of two tickets beyond Singapore of the same itinerary valid for travel until December 2016 or four tickets to Singapore of the same itinerary valid for travel from April 1 to June 30 and the whole month of December.
The promotional fares are available for the whole month of February for travel period until Dec. 31, 2016 to Singapore as well as to other destinations like Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Australia, and Europe. Passengers can also travel to Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Dubai, Maldives, New Zealand and South Africa. - From Sun.Star

While you're still working extra hard to raise enough money for the tickets - which won't be a long time because look at the Silk Air promos in the link above that are so affordable, you might just need to work a few extra shifts in your call center job to get them - you can just watch more films and learn to detach from yourself and gain perspective of life away from your ego. 

Another Save Money For France Tip: Cut those P130 Frappucinos you are enslaved to buy. You know they're bad for you because they drown you with Diabetes Sugar, and you know why you still purchase them? Because your ego keeps telling you it makes you feel good. Stop feeding your ego.

Go to coffee shops, and bring a laptop and watch all of Steven Spielberg's movies. Go to Senyor Kimchi or Gibbs' Hot Wings alone on a lazy non-rush hour day where these spots are not crowded, and watch Leos Carax' Holy Motors or Lav Diaz' Norte, and you'll be so engrossed with such formless cinema masterpiece that to order a junk frappucino after the privilege of having seen these movies will be a shame, a decision beneath you. Here are two movies I watched that I suggest you should watch not necessarily in coffee shops because they have graphic sex scenes, but still:

Shortbus - It's a movie about Free Love, and why it cannot happen, unless everyone gets therapy. Yes, including Duterte.




Dogville - It's a movie about subjectivity of right and wrong and "the arrogance of forgiveness" and how most of the suffering is of your mind and ego's incessant creation by which you are enchained.



Book a flight and fly to France and watch French Cinema there not to escape from your suffering, but to carry the pain with you. Unless you get the help of a mental therapist, no amount of travel can help you escape your pain because you made your suffering your identity, and without your suffering, you assumed you'd have no identity, and to not know your identity, you feel, is worse than any amount of suffering. Including the suffering of living in an #Aldub nation.








1/19/16

Senyor Kimchi: Where To Feed Your Film Crew When Making Bisaya Short Films In Cebu

Problem: You're a filmmaker and doing a production of a Lav Diaz movie in Cebu...





 and you have a production staff of around 15 people and you're looking for a place where you can choose an array of complete meat and veggies combo for the healthy conscious people, and also some good choices for those who just want some good old hearty power meals of deep fried food that is needed to fuel a person's day of creative mental and physical work. Where do you go?

Solution: Go eat at Senyor Kimchi. 





You can fit your entire crew in their fun, chic resto. I read from an article in the respected The Guardian Website that the test of good food is being able to mix different cuisine influences. Well, Senor Kimchi is a fusion of Korean and Mexican cuisine.

So why not bring your film crew there, or if you're a film lover, just come chilli with your friends there, bring a laptop and a Headphones splitter that allows two seperate earphones for one laptop, and you can enjoy watching, say, your favorite Criterion Classic movies while eating Senor Kimchi's bestsellers, Chimichanga and Mushroom Popppers. Here's a guide on what Criterion Movie classics to watch today with the help of phenomenal director, Quentin Tarantino:



1/8/16

A Food Review of SM CITY CEBU'S Kublai Khan For The Viewers of The Food Movie "Chef"

Dear Everyone Who Has Seen Jon Favreau's movie, Chef:

The thing about food is that you can have too much of it and you still can feel the hunger that no food can fill. You know why? Because you're eating the wrong food, the wrong ingredients. People get depressed just by eating the wrong food, and by wrong I mean the type that every article in your Facebook Timeline would label as: junk, bad for you, filled with toxins, laced with all kinds of ingredients that your friends say are just there to make you sicker because there are faceless corporate overlords who make money out of your sickness. The sicker people get, the richer some people become. There's truth in that.


What Kublai Khan's business model in their food resto in their SM City Cebu Foodcourt branch understands the importance of healthier food, even if not intentionally. Look at how they present their food: you go get a bowl, you pick your own ingredients, and you can add as many good food power food such as green vegetables, cabbage, and bean sprouts as you like. You can go with a bowl that's rich with just bean curd, onions, greens, peppers that are rich with Vitamin C, and you can just ask the cook to saute it for you in the least amount of oil, or no oil at all, or you can use sesame oil. 


You can go with your diet and still feel like you're eating a delicious filling meal because what other feeling do you feel when you're eating something straight out of the bowl? I think it's from Health.com that the way you eat food also affects how much full you can fill. If you eat in a little plate and fill the plate to the brim, you're tricking your brain that you're eating a lot and so you eat less. I just blew your mind.

Anyway, you can go achieve your daily target goal of veggies by going to Kublai Khan, and just put in your bowl all the carrots, and squid and a little bit of rice that your bowl can fill, and you're now all fueled for the day ahead. 





If you're a filmmaker and you have a film crew needing some good fresh variety of veggies to balance their otherwise meat-heavy Junk Fast Food meals during production, then Kublai Khan should be something to consider when you're near SM CITY Cebu. Who knows? Your film crew could be so chemically transformed by the vegetables that they have no choice but to eat because that's the catering for that day, that they can produce better film material. They can suddenly be happier with their work during production because their body is detoxified by the intake of veggies. Thereby, your film might be actually better. Your mind blown away again.

In the movie Chef directed by Jon Favreau, you can see that there is beauty in food that is so worthy of attention, that one should make a film about it starring no less than Scarlett Johanssen and Robert Downey Jr. In Kublai Khan, the beauty of food is in its healthy ingredients. Dig in.

Yours,
Not Mine

Hit Play To Play Scenes from The Movie Chef






1/5/16

A Grammatically Wrong But Heartfelt Letter For Actress Sarah Silverman In The Form of A Stream of Consciousness Litany About The Cebu Blogging Summit

Dear Sarah Silverman:



Hi. What have you been at lately? How's Martin Sheen? And have you read any David Foster Wallace? Anyway, last week was the Cebu Bogging Summit, a comic-con version for bloggers who want to be writers and changers of the limits of media. I'd like to dhare with you what I felt as an organizer of the event.
What I felt like was I was an apostle of a Jesus Christ fellowship. We were all following this one Jesus Christ and the beautiful part is no one in us knows who the Jesus is. It's like we've become believers of Jesus Christ and at the same time don't believe that he exists in the room we're preparing. Maybe the Goal of Serving the public was our alternative deconstructed version of Jesus Christ? Maybe we thought of ourselves as the Jesus Christ and by helping the summit via non-profit work, we give service to ourselves, which in this context is The Jesus Christ we believed in?

Maybe we redefined Jesus Christ as a person and turned him into an advoacy? You can't talk about advocacy these days without being labelled as pretentious and self-serving, and that means those who serve are brave enough to withstand judgment from the maliciously uninformed people who most likely need some medical help and attention. And I agree with you when you said about Saving All The Money In The World and Givin Everyone Therapy. There is seriously something wrong with your mental health if you find yourself doubting about the intentions of those who help you even after you've spent hours analyzing the facts presented. There is such a thing as jumping off the cliff and making a decision if something is malicious or not. You can doubt all you want but if you want to appreciate what the true intention of the people behind the CB summit, you just have to believe that it was not about anything but just a collective effort to serve.

It was like we were enchanted the way I assume cult members are probably enthralled by their Cult Masters or the way I asuume a person in love must have felt. There was blind trust involved in helping the summit without expecting any monetary reward. There was an expectation before the summit, but it was the kind of expectation that everyone seems to expect of anybody: decency, fair share of labor, community help.

There was free love, there was a division of labor that felt free, and ineffable, and just plain old simple good. That must be the kind of true service that Noynoy felt when he gave himself all. It was gratifying. It was pure organic elation for me without the added artifical boosters from caffeine, from sugar or anything that's made of junk.

This is the kind of work that I think Leonard Cohen must have mentioned when he said something like, Being Employed is different from Having a Job. You can have a job and not be employed. Being an employee should have noble connotations and should be what a citizen should be looking for. It could be more convenient to do your work and derive your money needed to survive funds from that work, but that doesn't seem to matter. So long as you have food, books, movie, tv shows to feed your inside spirits with, and a house you can stay in that's ventilated, non-noisy, even if it's in the house of a friend, then you're still living a meaningful life that makes you want to live more.

I guess this is the reason why those people we think are struggling in the supposedly slum areas should not be dismissed as unhappy. Telling them their unhappy is rude in that it assumes that you living in a "I Have a Car and A Mortgage Obligation " lifestyle is so much better and more fulfilling than the lives in the streets.

You have only yourself to improve, and if you're lucky enough to improve yourself and not feel alone just by earning for your own, then so be it. But an unofficial comparative study I made would instead argue that it is only in helping others so hauntingly devoid of monetary compensation can someone feel more fulfilling.

Or not. Okay I gotta go. Too many words, so little time.





Yours,
Not Mine

11/19/15

Filmmakers Woody Allen and Louis C.K. Should Make Bisaya Short Films in Cebu City with Filinvest

         







The new Filinvest Brand Ambassador/Dream Advocate today is a television actor named Richard Yap, who got phenomenal high-ratings for his TV show "Please Be Careful With My Heart". Filinvest in the Philippines is a brand that you can trust without even thinking about googling its reputation. That's how much you can trust Filinvest. If it's Filinvest, it's as good as it gets, and it seems to have presented itself at face value to be Gold Standard at delivering the Filipino dream of owning a home.

If you want The Filipino Dream Home, then head on to the Official Facebook Page of Filinvest and be part of their new advocacy of providing dream homes to every self-made man such as Richard Yap himself.

If you need help in getting an accredited Real Estate agent and if you're an overseas filmmaker looking for a place to stay for a long time while directing your epic Bisaya Short Film, then email bisayawriter(@)gmail(dot)com so you can get the best Filinvest home that suits your needs.


10/31/15

People From The Social in Ayala Center Cebu Will Scare You

Problem: 

It's the Halloween. And you want to go to Siquijor because you want to be scared and you want to find potions for your love. But you can't go to Siquijor right now because you are scared that you will lose your job if you do. What do you do?

Solutions:

1. You can watch Samsara, the scariest movie that Bisaya Short Films has recommended in a while. It's "creepy Scary", not "Paranormal" scary. It's also The Most Beautiful Movie you will ever have seen. Or not.



2. You can join tonight's The Social Party at Ayala Center Cebu. You will meet strangers, and people who say things like "Ewwww...she's so Katkat", and that will terrify you. Nothing's terrifying than judgmental people. I say nothing and not NO ONE because judgmental people are not humans.







10/27/15

14 Movie Reviews In The Form of Thank You Notes



1. Thank You Dir. Jerrold Tarog for directing the "Full of Beautiful Photography Especially In The Meadows Scene" movie, Heneral Luna. 

Your movie brought Filipinos a controversy the way Dan Brown's The Da Vinci Code did and for just as the same good reason: to give people something to talk about when Aldub is gone.

I'd have recommended this movie to Ramzy of Cebu Blogging Community and RNR Podcast because his OOTD could get inspiration from the sepia styles and outfit templates by Heneral Luna's interviewer/blogger, but he already podcast it. Dear Ramzy: you've seen Amy Schumer, now watch Anthony Jeselnik's Caligula. You're welcome.

2. Thank You Dir. Robert Zemeckis for directing The Walk, the  movie for Art majors who wrestle with pointlessness to breathe beauty into life. Without it, we wouldn't have learned that being an artist means you have to steal, practice a language, impersonate, get a mentor, respect the process and embrace the void to produce beauty that no one else but you and your cat care about. 

3. Thank you Don Siegel for your "Scorsese-Influencing" movie, Invasion of The Body Snatchers. You showed us that we might as well just die if we are snatched off of our emotions. Your actors who aren't supposed to feel fake still feel like they are, but I think your point is just because it's real doesn't mean it's not fake, so we're good.

Bisaya Short Films Recommends Invasion
of Body Snatchers
4. Thank you Dir. Eli Roth for your disgustingly thrilling movie Green Inferno. Your movie reminded me that there are people who help the "impoverished" children in Africa who are mentally ill professionals and that they are in need therapy and that they join charity causes to feel more important than us. In short, they are The Napoles. Or not.

I'd like Rachael Murrell Robinstein of Cebu Blogging Community to watch this movie and get her ideas on how her experience, if any, with Non-Government organizations in her country relate with the same controversies in the movie.

5. Thank you  Dir. Ridley Scott for your wonderful "Capitalism and Communism are Not Enemies!" kind of movie, The Martian. If it weren't for you I wouldn't have learned that bringing a clean black trash bag as a rain poncho is as brilliant as when Matt Damon used a tarpaulin as spaceship roof. The Martian is extra special because it sprang from a self-published book, and is now a skyrocketing success.

Your movie also gave me the idea that wanting to die is something that you can't help and something you can only do so much to remedy. You made me remember that I should pity more those who no longer want to live.

You made us realize, Ridley, that dreams do come true, even if your dream is not to have a dream, in which case an infinite paradox loop is created and then you explode.

6. Thank you Dir. Chris Columbus for the sweet fun eye-candy movie, Pixels, which I believe is a movie the Supposedly Intelligent Snobbish People would hate, but I believe is an unpretentious fun pleasure you shouldn't overthink. Without you I wouldn't have known that Tyrion Lannister as a white man pretending to be a stereotype of a Ghetto boy with fetish for Martha Stewart is Peter Dinklage.

7. Thank you Dir. Joel Lamangan for Felix Manalo. Without your movie, I wouldn't have seen your non-dialogue trailer that contain nothing but a montage of actors' facial expressions, a style which I can only surmise is a tribute to the smartphone generation's emoticons. Yaay,  you recognize the millenials who love Aldub!



8. Thank you Dir. John Krasinski for your movie adaptation of the 1000-page novel Brief Interviews with Hideous Men by David Foster Wallace, the 21st century postmodern literary genius who killed himself. Your movie is justice.

It feels that your movie is an essential influence in Will Forte's The Last Man On Earth because of the use of the idea that killers and rapists should not be condemned and are the most discriminated people on Earth. Good people praise each other, and those who are vilified get no better help than self-destruction and death. Hashtag Big Words.



9. Thank you Ellen Page for your performance in Touchy Feely, the EricRohmer-inspired "Nothing happens in this story but the viewing is still a pleasure" kind of movie. Your delivery of an awkward, repressed confused girl who has no words to contain the emotional chaos is the story of my girlfriend's youth here in the Philippines.

10. Thank you Jake Gyllenhall for your movie, Nightcrawler.

It's a movie I'd like Carlo, JL, Hoven, Bjorn, Channel, Romeo and the rest of the force behind Cebu Blogging Community to watch not only because I'm thankful enough of their company and generosity to reward them with a mere Bisaya Short Films recommendation, but because the movie is a stealthy, brilliant tutorial on how to start, rule, and dominate a new media.


11. Thank you Leos Carax's Holy Motors for always reminding me of the concept of Black Swan and why randomness is where the purest power and strength can be.


12. Thank you White God for making me want to do a Bisaya Short Film about the Save The Dog project of Mary Narvasa of Cebu Blogging Community.


12. Thank you Beasts Of No Nation for inspiring me enough to continue campaigning for the passing of The Anti-Discrimination Bill because the indigenous people could need the help. The universe eventually explodes, so this effort might be for nothing, but I'd like to pretend that it matters. 

13. Thank you Brett Haley for your movie "I'll See You In My Dreams". Your movie reminded me that I should be extra thankful for the new allies I seemed to have established while on board the Antipodes Yacht, especially to Jeane Louise who has always been warm and cheery in every blog adventure we have.




14. Thank you Wes Anderson for your movie, The Fantastic Mr. Fox. I've been joining communities such as The Cebu Blogging Community to produce more art and generate better important solutions for problems no one even still knows they have, and your movie's concept of family made me value the groups I'm joining even more.



THE END



         

10/19/15

Here's A Solution To Your Money Problems and Our Filipino Hunger Problems

The Official Launch of SimplyShare Foundation in the Philippines

Problem: Why Feed The Children When I Can Buy More Stuff For Myself?



It's Christmas Time, and you have more money from your savings than you can imagine. The new iPhone has to be bought. You have to have the new shoes because you are a proud self-confessed social climber, and you have the right to be that. 

Society rewards the honest, and you are honest to yourself that you are fake, so you are safe from judgment and so there's nothing in your lifestyle to change. But suddenly you catch yourself feeling numb after your next iPhone purchase. 


You used to feel the thrill of retail therapy every time you buy a Zalora dress online. You go to parties but you suddenly see no point in eating gourmet food every day when the rest of the world out there is happily being hungry. You wake up and stare at your millions in your bank accounts but now you feel what you would never thought you would: empty 


You no longer feel joy from buying things you don't need. 


What do you do?



Solution: Join The SimplyShare Foundation

This Filipino Non-Government organization headed by people from the business and government sector had claimed that they started the movement because they didn't find any organization that did what they wanted and they're unsatisfied with the government and current non-government groups. 

There should be a Bisaya Short Film documentary following and calculating the traction and progress of Simply Share foundation so people can judge for themselves whether the NGO is not something that contributes to the division of people, instead of unity. 

There are gullible, tired and discontented angst-ridden individuals willing to help the poor because they lived a life of avarice and excess, and SimplyShare is another group that wants their help.

Many could point out that the founders of SimplyShare could have just started or added energy, money and time to, say, Red Cross, Tsinelas Organization or Habitat For Humanity, and not start on their own and start from scratch where there are greater chances of failure, but when the Bisaya Short Films Force asked this question to them, the answer basically seems to be, and this is not a direct quote:

They Don't Trust Anyone Else But Themselves


Fair enough. Now be vigilant, Cebuano, and follow their path, and report to your social media what's their real score because it's just embarrassing to experience another Napoles.

10/16/15

Solutions For Mayor Michael Rama's Problems


Problem: You're Mayor Michael Rama and you're running for the next elections. 


You want to win, but you also don't want to force yourself and that's why you just put all this in the hands of the electorate. 


Voters can be bought, or the idea that voters are being bought is just an idea sold by the media to cause panic and to protect the interests of the media's owners. 

You don't want to say this because you're Mayor Michael Rama. So what are you going to do?

Solutions:


1. You sing

Yes, it can be called as a silly political maneuver that panders to the supposedly stupid and shallow. But what did being deep really give anyone other than the misery and the depression that might have been the reason that Robin Williams is now dead? 

We don't know, but if the Aldub Phenomena is to be trusted, it is wise to confirm that shallowness could be why Filipinos survive. We are furiously happy, and we're that or we die.

Just because we're shallow doesn't mean we're not the Filipinos that brought down dictatorships. 

Just because Cebuanos are shallow doesn't mean we're not the genius who brought to the world the mathematical ingenuity of a puso.

That said, it is wise and brilliant of Mayor Michael Rama to take it all easy and to leave his credentials to where it matters: in his law school where he got the Supposedly Honorable "Attorney" Prefix That Demands Respect.

In the real world, what matters is happiness. Happiness is the currency. You bring happiness? You win.

2, You answer questions from the Bisaya Short Films.

In the last Forum for Media Leaders held in City Sports Club last week, The Bisaya Short Films force was able to sneak some questions to Mayor Mike Rama. Here's an unreliable transcript of the Q & A:

Question 1:


Me: I'm Richard of the Cebu Blogging Community and Bisaya Short Films. Thank you for your support of the last Cinema Rehiyon and for letting me win in that contest you judged in high school.


In your Audio Visual, on the part where there was a list of beneficiaries of government supplemental budget, including centenarian senior citizen, I dont think there was a mention of : persons with disability?

In the internet world there is an infinite passionate demand for more support given to the mentally ill PWDS because studies show that the most corrupt individuals including the bakakons and mga Kiha Didto Kiha Diri, these people are either substance users or they're mentally ill people who resort to drugs because there's no government support for their diagnoses and treament.

So my question again is: why was there no mention of the PWDS? Or was THAT a technical error that suggests that mental health is not our priority?

Mayor Mike Rama: [ We already provide assistance to the PWDs] 

This is not a direct quote, but that's the essence of the answer and there's no reaction on the Audio Visual.

Question 2:

Me: Are you being vegetarian right now? Because The Buddhist community in our Guadalupe Cebu would agree that leaders who don't eat meat are better leaders because they have less hatred.

Mayor Mike Rama: [ I sing. I box. I don't eat much.] 

This is not a direct quote, but the essence is that he didn't mention that he eats solely vegetables. Safe answer. "You don't want to piss off Burger King when they're investing in the city you're running" is what I assume you my reader would say.







9/17/15

A Cinema Lover's Problem Solved By Drinking Cranberry Juice

Problem: You're a movie lover. Movies bring you to a dimension far better (or worse, if you're into Fifty Shades of Grey) than reality, and this is where you want to live all your YOLO life. You want to watch as many movies as it's possible to illegally download online. 

You went to film festivals like Cebu International Documentary Film Festival and Cinemarehiyon just to consume films, learn survival tactics and become so filled with life, you want to live more. To live longer suddenly becomes the only option.

Seven things had happened to you when you joined the Cinemarehiyon and Cebu International Film Festival:

1. You've seen the short film "U.S.F.A." by Jason Paul Laxamana and judged it as a film that criticizes how almost all festival films take life too seriously that they miss the point of cinema: to have fun. 

U.S.F.A. gets why Woody Allen is a superstar filmmaker: making people laugh is the ultimate utility of film.

2. You've seen Raymond Red's Himpapawid and you thought it was a thrilling revenge movie with a cynical view of how a person can suddenly crack and murder people because of mental illness disguised under poverty.

Poverty in this movie is a cycle in a Filipino's life that never ends. You doubt that this is an accurate portrayal of how Filipinos deal with problems because you find nothing of the monstrous sense of humor you usually get from speaking to your Filipino friends. 

You want to say that this could be a movie of an unhappy disenchanted cynic who is lied to by the minions of depression, but you can say nothing of the sorts. All you could say is:

the director could be happier by watching Broad City, Bored to Death, and re-watching all of Woody Allen's films.



3. You've seen Graham Cock's Blood and Carpet, whose director said to me that he was often inspired by David Lynch's surreal work. It's a psycho-thriller about mental illness, so you finished the black-and-white movie even if its thickly accented actors couldn't make you understand what was said. 

You're reminded by this movie of P.T. Anderson's Inherent Vice, which was outstanding even if it's just mostly spoken words on still shots of Joaquin Phoenix. You're writing to Graham if he could please send you the subtitled movie so you would know whether to agree on why Blood and Carpet won Best Picture in Cebu International Film Festival.

4. You've seen Kenneth Dagatan's Sanctissima, and thought it was a short film made by a tasteful Leos Carax-level film master. The last scene of a bloody woman and a man lying on the floor was arguably a Da Vinci painting. 

This film should be seen by everyone who thinks thoughts like " Monsters eat aborted babies for their monster babies, so at least there's food in trash, right?".

5.  You've seen Sonia's Story, and thought its surrealist cinematography is a breath-taker and is eye-candy for those who loved the great art film classics such as Baraka, Holy Motors and Samsara. 

Despite what the director said during the open forum, the director of this film should make a Bisaya Short Film with Jerrold Tarog and Jessica Zafra. 

6. You've seen BattleDream Chronicles fron Martinique, and it is an animation of the highest quality, with action scenes that take you back to the greatness of Animatrix and Final Fantasy. 

The movie's an intelligent, fast-paced thriller that is so at the grips of how detached from reality our modern Facebook life is today. It's a wonderful film testament to why everyone's on Facebook: there is an apocalypse coming via climate change, so we might as well YOLO our lives out.



7. You've seen Ana Mary Ramos' Inframundo, and thought it was a movie homage to Coen Brothers' No Country For Old Men; both movies tackle one thing: you die for no reason because you lived.

8. You've seen the delightful Frank vs. God and told your friends about it because it's an important movie for the whole Catholic nation of the Philippines who want to sue God for "Acts of God" calamities stated in insurance policies.


      

9. You've seen the short film Happy Shack, and thought it was a delightful movie about nothingness and the indifference of the universe. You think it's a powerful film about powerlessness, submission to the absurd and why we should just go watch an Eric Rohmer movie now, and dance Naenae until we die.

10. You've seen the short animation "Dinner For A Few", and thought it's an elegant graphic take on the class struggle resonating the brilliance and sharp action drama presented in that latest must-watch Chris Evans blockbuster, Snowpiercer. It's a must-see, just look at all those leaves.



After all this, you realized you want to do everything in your power to live longer just to watch movies for movies' sake. What do you do?


Solution: 

Drink cranberry juice so you can watch more movies.

You know in the must-watch "Why Is Jessica Zafra not reviewing this show?" important HBO TV series "Bored to Death", there was an episode of George wanting to get rid of the "medical marijuana" in his system because the Magazine he owned was doing a company drug test?

George there, if my friend from Lead Character Chronicles blog is right, could drink cranberry juice because it cleans the urine.

We couldn't confirm that, but what can be confirmed is: cranberry juice is an answer, even if you don't know the question.

Cranberry is more of focus here because I had a friend whose father died of renal failure and I just attended an awareness campaign sponsored by Fly Ace Corporation, the people behind the brand Old Orchard cranberry juices. 





An idea hit me: what they're doing is campaigning with health institutes for children in schools to be healthier by drinking lots of liquids and to get rid of school distribution of sodas.

What they're doing passes now as social activism, which is one of what Bisaya Short Films is about. Social cause plus business equals a better world. I'm in.

I join the bandwagon because the healthier the people, the more active the global movie industry is. More movies means more happiness to you, so helping them protects your interest and mine.

So let's trim the fat: you will drink cranberry juice one glass a day now because it rids your body of toxins, unless you're diabetic and unless it's your life's meaning to have toxins in the body because you know, you live different. We respect the cause of those who choose to die.

Yes, bottled cranberry juices in the supermarket have high-fructose syrup. Yes, high-fructose's danger is still in debate, but did you know cocaine was healthy once?

Yes, you die anyway either way. But we live unpretentiously, and the reality is you cannot comply eating all the fruits your body supposedly needs because you're weak and you enjoy being weak and you still want to live for instinct reasons and there is glory in accepting yourself. 

The trick in picking the best cranberry juice: look for anything that says 100% Juice, and go find those that don't show "high-fructose corn syrup" in the list of ingredients. That's as good as it gets.

Drinking bottled juices with 100% fruit concentrate does more good and practically no harm, just as there is no harm watching a few Michael Bay movies once in a while to clear out your high-level palette of cinematic taste after watching Lav Diaz and Jerrold Tarog-inspired Bisaya Short Films.





A Bisaya Short Film Project

9/14/15

5 Anti-Sosyal Reasons You Enjoyed Last Sunday's Vispop Music Festival

1. You're antisosyal, which is different from antisocial. An anti-sosyal is against anything sosyal. 

An anti-sosyal is one who never owns a car because to own one just for status is pretentious. 

Antisosyals bike their way to work, and they buy Buy One Take One Fruits and Veggies at SM Supermarket JCenter Mall at 8pm everyday because they're saving the fruits and veggies from being thrown away by the mall at closing time.  

An anti-sosyal Cebuano went to Vispop Festival last Sunday because it is a statement against hypocrisy of speaking a language that arguably isn't hers. 

Listening to Bisaya is also arguably his passion because it implies that he sticks to his roots even if he went to an English-speaking school. 

Although her pride for Bisaya implies that she is aware that there can be shame for speaking Bisaya, we will not entertain this irony because this leads to self-conscious, insecurity and the depression that killed Robin Williams. (See Left Photo)

2. You love Missing Filemon, Aggressive Audio and Junior Kilat the way they love the Bisaya Short Films language.

You went to college when Aggressive Audio's "Bakakon Ka Liar Evil Ka" was a song you sang for your girlfriend whom you lost your virginity for but is now married to someone else.

You dropped out of college when "Lingin" was your song for the Philosophy professor who introduced you to Postmodernism and how life is fashionably meaningless.

You started the soul-crushing call center job in the year where Missing Filemon's "Sine-Sine" was a song for your dream of becoming an experimental Bisaya Short Film maker, a dream that's now slowly dying. 

You started taking anti-depressants by the time Junior Kilat's "Shudi Abas" had been a cathartic song about how the respected corruption culture in the Cebuano society thrives because no one wants to talk. 


No one admits of their lies other than to their priests, and no one's punished because after you ask forgiveness from God, you're now clean and immaculate as an accused pedophile's robe. 

Bonus Questions: In theory, could you rape one million kids and get God to forgive you because you already prayed 5 Hail Marys? Are you smiling because being able to rape without consequences is your symbol of complete freedom?

You enjoyed Vispop because Missing Filemon, Aggressive Audio and Junior Kilat had played live that night and made you rethink all this.

3. You speak English.

You speak Cebuano only with the closest people and speak English to everyone else because English is impersonal and Bisaya is spoken to touch someone's roots, the deepest most unpretentious self. 

Every Cebuano knows English is spoken to be impersonal. 

To be impersonal and pretentious is a defense mechanism against being offended by words like "You're so OA, and you're so Katkat" from mentally ill acquaintances. 

All defenses are down when you're Cebuano and speak Bisaya.







4. You saw Missing Filemon's Lorenzo Ninal's sons' Rock and Roll.






5. You are me and the Vispop songs "Bok Love", "Buwag Balik" and "PaPictura Ko Beh" are songs from artists whom you are going to contact asap for a collaborative music video project.






9/6/15

Problems In Globe Unleashed Event and The Yamaha Club Event Solved By Bisaya Short Films

Problem: You still drive a motorcycle even if you almost died from riding one because you drink and drive. 


You drink and drive because you're forgetful, but also because deep down you know life is all about the rush,  the revving of the heart when you conquer the road, hoping that the speed makes you forget that death is near. And alcohol, you think, makes this experience better. Dumb, but better.

You drink and drive because you've also read enough novels from F.Scott Fitzgerald and James Salter and seen enough movies from Woody Allen to understand that this world right here has no guarantees and this is the world where "Whatever Works" is the key to survival. People rape. 

People kill. People do things you deem wrong. Why? Because they think you're wrong and they're right. To stop them from doing what they think is right FEELS like an intrusion to their true freedom and this makes you feel no different from a fascist, a dictator, a Hitler. What a bummer.


That is why it's better to be in a club, so when the Apocalypse or its equivalent comes, you can find safety in numbers. You join clubs to feel protected empowered, and groups like The Iglesia ni Cristo flourish and make insane amounts of money for their people because people join clubs. You want to be in a club. A club that shares your love for the ride, for the thrill. What shall you do?

Solutions:


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