Showing posts with label Oomph Radio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Oomph Radio. Show all posts


A Letter For Jackie Chan Fans About His New Movie Skiptrace Showing Now At SM Seaside City

Dear Fans of Jackie Chan:

The ‪BisayaShortFilms‬ Squad was invited yesterday for ‪‎VivaFilms‬' Advance Screening of Jackie Chan's Skiptrace, the movie with a budget of US$60 million and profit margin of US$127.7 million (Shut up, right?). Hurray, for All That Money Thrown Away For Fun! 

The movie opens in Cebu today and I invite you to watch it because I sincerely enjoyed it and its photography is gorgeous and its story unpretentious and Jackie Chan trying to be cute by singing an Adele song is stuff of genius. 

Don't watch this if you say things like, "That movie is dumb". In which case, let me refer you to a Mental Health Professional because mental illness equals unhappiness and there is truth when they say that "It's not you. It's ME..ntal illness. "

Also, I watched this on SM Seaside's Large Screen Format, so your experience should differ if the cinema is inferior/superior . ‪Also, to enjoy this movie, try not to read movie reviews like THIS.

Anyway, here's some notes that constitute a review of Skiptrace. Let's skip the standard reviews. Other blogs can cater that for you. This right here is movie review Bisaya Short Films style. Prepare to be blown:

1. Jackie Chan's Skiptrace is cleverly formulated to capture an audience that not only just wants to have fun, but also wants to feel like the movie they're watching is more than an escape.

A movie doesn't have to have a life-changing meat or philosophical stand on what constitutes right and wrong, but it has to make one feel that we're not just sitting here watching our electricity get wasted by a movie that has no reason to exist.

Skiptrace, if you see it in a knee-jerk reaction perspective, is a standard action movie that's just there to fill the void of your Sunday hours because your smartphone's too low-battery to play Pokemon Go. But if you're with Nicholson Taleb when he said that Conscious Ignorance (the act of deconstructing meaning) makes you see infinite things and opens you up more to the grace of life, then you will see Skiptrace the way I see it, which is:

  • A movie that made me feel good, and that made me believe that music in the form of Adele can infiltrate a culture and pacify discord in,say, Mongolia more successfully than waging a war.
  • A movie that reminds you that sometimes, in order not be susceptible to suicide and depression, you have to embrace the balance, the Yin and Yang, of doing a bit of right and a bit of wrong.
  • A movie that showcases the splendor of movement, of the kinetic art of Jackie Chan's martial dance, of its poetry, of (insert more poetic phrase here).
2. Jackie Chan's Skiptrace makes me want to scream this Albert Camus Quote on chaos and uncertainty and remind myself how lethal unhappiness started when I'd started craving for meaning. 

The better joy is to just embrace the chaos and never see the meaning of it all and just move on like nothing happened, which is the thought that landed on me with so much delight and pleasant feels at the end of this film. Verdict: Watch it now.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.” 
― Albert Camus


Existential Problem Answered By Viva Films' Doraemon

Problem: You're not smart. Your friends are lawyers or employees with tenure but you are unemployed, and so you bring a packed lunch containing steamed rice and you go to the mall supermarket and hope their FREE Taste Ham is still there, so you can have that as your viand for your rice while you eat alone in the park.

You're not luckier with the girls either because there's not that many women who can stand a man who throws things at them when he forgets to take his meds, or when he accidentally drinks coffee and he's taking Antidepressants that go haywire when mixed with cafeinne. How can you feel there's hope?

Solution: Watch Viva Films' Doraemon, and be reminded of your cat thru Doraemon. Imagine your cat taking care of you by tucking you in in your sleep and by finding you a girlfriend. Marvel at how Japan's 3D animation for Doraemon can make you forget that you're Fourfiveseconds to hopeless.


Jackie Chan's Dragon Blade Is About Everything Because China Makes Everything

Albert Camus The Philosopher said that the beauty of Greece is that it's extremely neutral. They don't do extremes. They don't die for the worship of reason, nor abandon beauty for the name of God or something like that I dunno I'm not the Greece nerd. Anyway, them Greeks never take themselves seriously, like the makers of Danielle Lee's movie, Dragon Blade.

What makes Dragon Blade fun is that it's shallow and it knows that. Which is ironic, because you know that the movie's about an alternate history where the Shakespearean drama in Rome is set in China. This is shown at the start to have been discovered by satellites, lasers and a cast member of the Korean pop group F4. No, I'm not kidding. F4 is really here.

In short, the movie is a futuristic but ancient, tragic musical comedy epic, filled with a love triangle, dance numbers and construction workers who build weapons so fast, my friend thinks they're employees of Dakay Construction. 

So basically the movie's about every known movie genre there is. Which makes sense, because this movie is made in China, where everything is made.

Words I CANNOT use to describe Dragon Blade: pretentious, deep, beautiful as a whole, non-postmodern, movie with tasteless cinematography, racist

Special Mention: Jackie Chan's dubbed voice makes him sound like he's chewing some Pancit Canton. Pancit and Canton are chinese words haha I'm making a joke. 

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