A Thank You Letter for Senator Kiko and Megastar Sharon from Richard of Bisaya Short Films

"I'm not starstruck. I'm MEGASTARstruck." - Richard Abad

Dear Kiko and Sharon:

Thank you Kiko Pangilinan that you said in the Press Conference we had at Parklane that you will support Federalism if it's for empowering the Fisherfolks and the Farmers and the rest of the people who are in the forefront of things, such as the janitors, soldiers, artists, entrepreneurs and everyone else who is NOT a bureaucrat and who is NOT a University Professor overpaid to teach gullible students wrong information, which ruins the economic system, according to Nicholson Taleb, a New York Times Bestselling Author whom I respect the way I respect Daenerys Targaryen.

By the way, can we do something about these Church-run universities, Kiko, to enforce them to pay taxes because University of San Carlos alone seems to be a really big money-draining business that extracts the money saved by our farmers just so these farmers can get their children a university degree that will never guarantee them a job at a tremendous cost?

Nicholson Taleb invented the Theory of Anti-fragility, whose one idea says that universities can actually make students dumb because of the lack of practical real-world experience-based lessons in the university's curriculum to the point that he argued this: university professors should be sued because of spreading misinformation to BS Economics students, and ruining the global economy because these academics just keep on churning out useless "knowledge" at the cost of draining our people's money in the form of tuition. If Duterte wins, will this change happen? If Mar does, will it not?

About your reservations on Federalism because of Political Dynasties: Political dynasties seem to be not all ugly, and Nicholson Taleb's book will prove that "France, Japan and New Zealand" are progressive because they started from a really super small and barangay style nation, where government officials sort of know their citizens directly face to face, and people treat each other with more sympathy because they see each other as people and not just merely as SSS and NBI Numbers.

Put it this way, Senator Kiko: to whom would you be kinder if you're a government official? : a person you see everyday because you're childhood friends and he lives next to you in the same region? or a person whose face you didn't know because he's from Manila and you're in Cebu and you only know him in the computer profile of the NBI, and you don't know his favorite color, his favorite movies because you're not friends?

People are kinder to people they actually know.

And the fact that there's this more personal connection with the people can be good for lowering crime rate of the Philippines because people are less likely to steal and cause hurt to someone they know in a nuanced, face-to-face kind of way. Put it this way: if you're a thief who only steals because you need money for your kids and you're not on drugs, who would you rather steal from: your mother or someone you don't know? 

Also, politcal dynasties seem to be only okay if we have more of them! If we have more but different political dynasties, then we can learn more from each other's diversity, and the more varied our government styles are, the smaller the national impact of the failure of one style is.

Right now, we only have one system spread across the whole nation, and if one mistake happens to that system, such as the Pork Barrel mishap that cuts fund transfer to the whole Philippines , the whole nation gets horrible damage.

When we put that one system in one small region and disconnect that from the rest of the nation, only that region is affected when a failure happens, sparing the rest of the nation. Federalism lowers the damage, like wearing a helmet, so let's put a helmet on our country's head!

And let's find a way to change to a small-government style faster than amending the constitution because that's going to take so muuuuch time; our time is important because we have so many movies and Game of Thrones episodes to watch yet. The appeal of Duterte's promise of Federalism comes from the fact that he seems to be open to start  a civil war and let the whole nation fight itself. Violence is gross, and it's boring. Let's solve this by dancing instead! Like in Will Ferrell's movie, Daddy's Home! 

So here's my solution as a graduate of AB Political Science at University of San Carlos: do another EDSA revolution but this time, let's threaten the Constitutional Convention to change to Federalism with dancing!

Invite everyone to rally around EDSA and Fuente Osmena and all central areas in all our cities and let's demand that if they don't amend the constitution within a week, we will dance for the whole week and annoy the entire nation with Justin Bieber's Love Yourself and Hailee Steinfeld's Love Myself blasted out in Olympic-size speakers! We will dance all day and night until we change to Federalism and we can also do a referendum through dancing. Let's take the entire country hostage through dancing!

And thank you Sharon for planning to watch Hele Sa Hiwagang Hapis, the 8-hour-long movie of Lav Diaz that was so stupendous, I watched it twice. Yes, 16 hours in total of watching Philippine betrayals in history replayed to me in stunning black and white while Ely Buendia lullabies me to tears.

And the movie arguably helped me with my Traffic situation while living in Cebu City: the movie's scenes kept me so still and taught me how to detach from the illusion of time so I can deviate from suffering and ego-attachment, and so every time I ride through Cebu City traffic, I just remember scenes in Hele Sa Hiwagang Hapis to remind myself that there is beauty in being patient.



Solving Filipino Money Problems By Watching A Movie


You're screwed, and you're two days before your landlord evicts you and you start living Will Smith's life in the movie, The Pursuit of Happyness, where he and his son lie down in the subway floor and people throw them coins even if they're not begging.

You could do that by begging or playing music in the streets of Colon or in the LapuLapu terminal where there's so much crowd because the traffic is "Paris Attackers" insane, but you need more than coins and good luck asking money from the Lapu-Lapu commuters who are so disgruntled and abused by the traffic, you can almost smell their human rights deprived off them in real time.

You can ask your friends for money or offer your time by cleaning their apartment, organizing their digital library of illegally downloaded movies or work for their businesses by offering your skills, but that might not be enough. You want a fix for your money problems that should be sustainable, habit-forming and healthy. What do you do?


1. Join In BPI's Bandwagon

The Bank of The Philippine Islands Bank Network just released their Make The Best Happen campaign, where they promote the consumer market (This is code for "Filipinos Love Spending For Nothing") of the Philippines.

Banks like BPI push people to live the best of their lives by spending on health, food, travel, parenting, shopping and and future. People say that banks do their best to make sure they get your money by letting you know that there's so much joy in the world that only money can give. 

Your money problems can be solved by investing in BPI and I'm not talking about just putting all your savings in a BPI Investment Portfolio. I'm talking about linking with their new BPI Website and using it to your advantage. Here's how:

You can get money from offering your skills (and that includes walking people's cats and dogs), right? To solve your problem, you can go to the Facebook Page of the BPI and visit the people who liked any of the Posts of The BPI Make The Best Happen Campaign and boom: you can message them privately politely and offer your services. 

You make videos? Pitch them ideas. You babysit? Tell them how you're the best and build trust. The possibilities and opportunities are endless, as long as you don't spam them, and the line between spam and not is thin, mind you. 

I'll assume you're smart enough to screw up this far, so I guess you know the drift here. Now go to talk to the right people. Who knows? You might end up in the right group and you can be invited as a PARTYcipant in BPI parties and get to win prizes the way that guy who won A Staycation and P2k just for playing parlor games did. I'm actually that guy.

2. Eat at Recently Launched Kublai Khan at SM City Cebu Foodcourt

You're probably screwed this far because you've been eating junk food lately. 

There's no blaming you because junk food is your stress-reliever the way that beer and cocaine are to alcoholics and addicts who turn to narcotics addiction just to feel less damaged by the fact that the universe explodes anyway and nothing is real and permanent in a world where death is the truth and you could do nothing about it. 

Although, they could just read a novel and feel grateful that their life is not as damaged as the melodrama they're reading, but reading novels is for those who want to be alive, not those who worship dying. 

Existentialism aside, you're screwed because your diet is full of Diabetes McDonalds Float and Cholesterol-Flavored Pork Ribs. Like the song in the P.T. Anderson's beautiful movie Magnolia, "You're Never Gonna Change Unless You Wise Up", and the secret to wising up is by gorging into healthy food.

You can't get healthier than the ingredients offered in Kublai Khan. You get bean curd, raw veggies, carrots, fish, lean meat and other stuff that any pretentious vegetarian you know would surely recommend you. 

You make your own food and mix it with the tastiest sauces that make every ordinary dish taste like it was taken straight out of an Instagram perfection of a food photo.

You'll start feeling good when you stabilize your diet with Kublai Khan Vegetable-heavy Meals available at SM City Cebu Food Court,

And the fact that you can have unlimited of that means that Kublai Khan is in the right side of history in promoting healthier lifestyle.

Or not.

3. Esquire Financing

If you're a BIR-registered businessman/filmmaker for 1 year, and you judge yourself to have good credit record, and you have a checking account of over 6 years, google the keywords "Esquire Financing Cebu Branch newly opened", and immediately wear your rubber shoes, run immediately to their office, and borrow them for some money. Seriously, they can let you borrow money with no collateral if you're using the money for business and not for some personal avarice such as buying a car in this god-forsaken Traffic-Enslaved Philippines.

Esquire Financing has the vibe that they want to be the Steve Jobs of Money Lending, which means they aspire for greatness, genius and grandeur, and Bisaya Short Films has the feels that they are as legit and trustworthy as they can be. But Steve Jobs is now dead, and they want to be like them, so do they want to be dead? Deadly rich, probably.

4. Tell your Senators your problems.

Days ago, the force behind Bisaya Short Films had lunch with Senators Kiko Pangilinan and Bam Aquino to talk about anything. I would've asked both of them what episode they were in Walking Dead, and if whether they think #Aldub is the cause/solution to the Traffic Problem in the Philippines, but it was not The Tamang Panahon. So I went to asking Senator Bam Aquino about the books he's reading and his other faves because I copy Jessica Zafra's blog's approach. I got my answer.

Now how can my strategy help you? Simple: create a blog and let Senators know about your problems. Email them. Twitter them. Facebook Message them. You can approach the senators anytime with social media, and chances are they will respond to you depending on how honest you seem. And then you can borrow from them, or its equivalent. Problem solved.

5. Be inspired that Everything Is Fake anyway by Visiting The Parkmall Atrium.

If you're screwed and your life ends there, then that must be the best that you can do, and there's nothing wrong with that. The universe is a chaos, and you lived a life. Besides, your life wasn't as great or as bad because your life is just as good as anyone's. Revel in the fact that there's no universal truth in the world, as philosophers would make you believe. There's freedom in that kind of thinking. And roaming around in the Parkmall's Atrium reminds you of this fundamental freeing truth.

#IBlogForCBC and #BisayaShortFilms presents
"You Will Not See Real Trees Inside The New Atrium of Parkmall Because That Is The Architect's Point
And Perhaps the Plastic Trees Are A Comment on Society's Artificiality and Meaninglessness?"

Or not.

Movie You Should Watch To Solve This Problem:

The Big Lebowski. It's about this man who dealt with money problems with grace and abandon so well, that you can learn from him tricks of dealing stress by: dancing in the floor when you're at your most stressed state, and just let it all pass and while the time away by reading James Salter or David Foster Novels or learning the ego-detached methods that alleviate suffering with Eckhart Tolle's The Power of Now.


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