Showing posts with label bisaya short films solutions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bisaya short films solutions. Show all posts


Solutions To How To Get Paid Online in Cebu with Payoneer

Dear Cebuanos Looking for Online Payments:

I can recommend Payoneer to you because I'm not paid to recommend them and I was already its happy user back in 2009. Without Payoneer, I wouldn't have been able to withdraw a 5-digit income from client overseas through oDesk, now Upwork.  That said, don't listen to people who sell you products they themselves don't use. #SkinInTheGame 

But what is Payoneer ? To know more, contact me via the Message Box to your left after reading this article.

Anyway, last Saturday, May 27, 2017, Bisaya Short Films learned the following at the Payoneer Forum in Cebu:

Payoneer Gives Cebuanos More Than Paypal

1. As of May 29 and compared with Paypal, Payoneer charges less fees (you get P1,000 more from your $4,000 ) . You have to monitor this, because they might change it once Payoneer increases its users. Principle of Supply and Demand.

No More Waiting For 1 Month Before Payoneer Card Arrives

2. Payoneer Card is now optional! So after approval, you can now immediately use Payoneer to shop at Lazada, pay for your Netflix and Spotify, and buy art from local artists such as yours truly. Click HERE to buy art from Local Cebuanos.

3. Iatrogenics means the benefits of a product comes first, the hidden risk comes later. You benefit from Facebook today, but wait till the damage (depression, low attention span) kicks in. I learned this from Nassim Taleb, who also reminds us Cebuanos that you should never ask a barber if you need a haircut, and that you should be careful with teachers and consultants who teach birds how to fly.

4. The more money you have, the more kidnap-prone you are, so stay small. The bigger you are, the more fragile you become. So let's make everything small. Small friendship groups. Small business reach. Be global, but be careful of its hidden risks, such as identity theft, and know the risks. 

Still confused? Email me.


How Duterte Can Cure Philippines Using This Movie Review of London Has Fallen

The easiest, laziest way for a Cebuano moviegoer to review London Has Fallen is to say that it's a dumb but entertaining action movie with cliche scenes and bad CGI, but what are we gaining from such negative review? 

Do we help enlighten Cebuano's lives by saying that London Has Fallen is a waste of your money? 

It's a waste of electricity and internet to critic movies this way, so let me write a letter to Presidentiable Duterte instead, asking him to use the ideas learned in Olympus Has Fallen to cure our nation.

Dear Duterte:
You can learn a lot from watching London Has Fallen to become the best President of the Philippines. Here are the movie's ideas:

1. In the movie, you'll see Gerard Butler drinking water from a plastic bottle taken out of his home ref . It's 2016, and he drinks bottled water inside his house? He can't drink water from a refillable pitcher for less carbon footprint the way we Cebuanos do? 

London has fallen because it still uses plastic. Eliminate plastic bottles when you're president, Dear Duterte.

2. The entire London economy shut down in the movie when the terrorists attacked, costing not only lives, but also the operation of coffee shops, malls and restaurants where Overseas Filipino Workers might be hanging out, chatting with their Filipino families via Skype using Free Mall Wifi (Filipinos are smart queens and kings). 

Filipinos in the movie who were desperately dependent on updating their Facebook Walls must've been devastated that no one could read their humble brag posts when London went down! Help them, Duterte!

So if you're the president, Mr. Duterte, do the Filipinos in London Has Fallen the favor by making sure what happened in the movie won't happen in the Philippines. Solution? Make Facebook OFFLINE for everyone! 

What is Facebook Offline?

Facebook Offline is when it's mandatory that people under a certain age can't upload to their Regular Facebook until they're able to talk with their families and friends face to face without the intervention of the internet for a certain period, so they lose dependency to the internet and they won't kill themselves when the Internet dies, which might happen next week.

Offline Facebook is when people talk with other people in real life and not inside some pretentious virtual fakery that is Online Facebook, thereby promoting real healthy face-to-face conversation between Filipinos, lowering the chances of getting kids so lonely that they resort to marijuana, saving electricity from less Facebook usage and actually letting this generation still see what an actual face still looks like. 

Who knows? Offline Facebook could even get Cebuanos to experience Offline Love, where two Cebuanos are in healthy relationships that don't involve the use of emojis, even if they're fun to use.



How Not To Be Depressed Today By Watching A Bisaya Short Film


 You are heartbroken and you feel like there is no more life in front  of you. Your father is dead, and you are mentally ill.

You can no longer enjoy stuff like the good barbecue in Cafe Racer in Mandaue. You can no longer enjoy cat videos.

You used to like Razorback, but now you don't. And now you try even to listen to K-Pop, which didn't please you before but you're desperate so you try everything to become better.

You went to the Sugbo Mercado Bazaar and tried the Bacon Waffles and all you could think about was the pigs killed just to make people be happy.

You went to the APEC meeting and you felt like there was depression in every word being mentioned by the speaker.

What do you do to be happy?


1. Watch Bisaya Short Films
The Bisaya Short Films and other videos made by Bisaya people are filled with liberating humor that might increasingaly give you the extra days to want to live and find out what's causing your sadness. 

2. Watch videos by Medyo Maldito. Find the Filipino references in Broad City, a TV show so funny that there's no wonder why the Bisaya Short Films recommend it. 

3. Find the Bisaya Short Films guide on what new comedy videos to watch online that can make you happy. 

4. Read more fantastic elegant prose from Jessica Zafra in her blog because Jessica might have made some Bisaya Short Films that we don't know of and her secret videos could save you from the depression you currently enjoy right now. 

The only way to know whether she has them or not is to read her blog.

Below is a Bisaya Short Film called "Akin Ka Nalang Baby Pero Move On Na Ako". It's about a group of friends who went to Badian and composed their own music right on the spot, without rehearsal, and without editing.  

In this video, you are inside the mind of a person who is listening to their songs. Creators Luis Bunuel, Leos Carax and Woody Allen were in the mind of the director when this was made.

5. Go to a government hospital, tell a nurse that you feel like you're a threat to yourself, and you want the government's help to get you a psychiatrist.

Going to a psychiatrist is normal, although saying that It Is Normal implies that it isn't; do not overthink. There's no shame in being normal. Doctors are there to rewire your systems. Your serotonin and happy nerves are messed up, and doctors can get them fixed.

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