Showing posts with label lav diaz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lav diaz. Show all posts


An Open Letter For Ely Buendia From Bisaya Short Films and SM Seaside City

Dear Ely Buendia: 

Remember me? I'm that guy who wrote a music album review of you and Francis Magalona's In Love And War, which you shared in your social media. You can read and share it again HERE. Also, you were resplendent and spicy in Hele Sa Hiwagang Hapis, which I reviewed HERE:

I'm also the guy who made your Youtube Music Video below and I tell you this because I need attention. Just kidding. We all do. You especially. You need my attention. 

I also write here to tell you more about the Cebu Guitar and Arts Festival that you're attending this July 30, 2016. Anyway, three things:

1. Bisaya Short Films Squad went to the pre-event press conference and we learned that Sponge Cola is also coming here at SM Seaside City with you. 

It would be great if you and Pupil and Spongecola would together play a cover of the theme song of Game of Thrones live at SM Seaside City with Bisaya Short Films to promote movies of Lav Diaz because his movies might be national cure for addiction to cigarette, marijuana, Eckhart Tolle's drama and suffering, which are reasons why we harm and relationships break up.

2. SM Seaside City shoppers can join the "Color Your Ukelele" workshop, which they can avail after purchasing P500 worth of any item from SM Seaside City tenants. They have to buy the separate ukelele though, which is worth P2500, because it's made of fiber glass. 

I wonder what it would be like if we invite Jimmy Fallon here in the Philippines with you and Jessica Zafra's influence and we let him play fiber glass ukulele at SM Seaside City and all the proceeds of that show goes to funding Sutukil Sauce to think of creative ways to control Cebu flooding?

3. The Cebu Guitar and Arts Festival is in partnership with UV New School of Art and Design. which now teaches DOTA 2, an innovative move with hidden risks.

Risks are good. Without risk-taking, Viagra wouldn't have been made by the guy who discovered it only by accident after looking for blood pressure remedy. 

The great "modern philosoper" Nicholson Taleb, author of Antifragile: Things That Gain From Disorder, implies that the world needs more ideas like the DOTA 2 Curriculum taught by UV New School of Art and Design because it's only from "crazy" ideas like this can the society experience the kind of progress that makes society's lives better. 

He also said that the secret to increasing one's value is to try everything, but in small portions, not 100%, just 10% of everything. Take risks, but only the smaller ones; allow the body to recover from the risks. Fail always, but spread it out in the whole year, not in one sitting.

But here are my concerns, Ely Buendia. what if the video game DOTA 2 makes students dumb, as reported in this Chinese Health Study

Also, DOTA 2 champions win millions but those video players, according to Taleb, may just be lucky and have nothing to do with education. 

In fact, Taleb suggests that schools choke the creativity and intelligence out of students. And what if we're making our potential DOTA champions dumber by enrolling them in school because not one of the current DOTA champions today went to school?

Remember Innaritu's movie Birdman? What made his performance magical and powerful and innovative was precisely because he didn't go to Theater School. If he did, he might be producing mediocre engineered work lacking vigor and enchantment. 

I also have the instinct that statistics might show that majority of the respected artists today didn't go to art school, but then again, great artists also need to know the rules first before we/they break them.

Maybe the challenge for UV New School of Art and Design is how to make a school without the disadvantages of being in a school?

And what if these DOTA champions become suicidal after getting their millions, like sort of what happened to Kurt Cobain? Should the government hold the school responsible for teaching the curriculum?

Can we make the government force the schools teaching DOTA 2 sign a Legally Binding Document that in the event that students become psychologically disturbed after studying this experimental DOTA 2 curriculum, whose health risks are still hidden from us, the school will help pay for the students' therapy?

Also, DOTA 2 is entertainment and The Genius/Great/Dumb/Pretentious Writer David Foster Wallace said that competitive entertainment can be a reason why people are suicidal.

Suicidal people can be a problem to Cebuano society because they might use illegal drugs. When people use illegal marijuana, they might harm the Cebuano society, and to cure that harm, the government uses taxpayers money.

Therefore, will DOTA 2 contribute to the problem of producing addicts that harm our nation? But who cares when Albert Camus' said we're all gonna die anyway? We are all allowed to do anything we want even if it harms the society, so who cares, right? It's all about me me me me me. #SelfieSociety

Anyway, why not help us, Mr. Ely Buendia, by writing a song about the effects of DOTA 2 and let Sutukil Sauce make its music video that has a Wes Anderson and Jacques Audiard kind of editing rooted in the postmodern meta humor of Tina Fey? #namedrop #bigwords

That's all. See you on 31.

A Bad Richard


BREAKING NEWS: Aldub Maine Mendoza's Fans and Lav Diaz Can Visit The International Travel Expo To Support Filipino Cinema

The 3rd International Travel Festival this July 15, 2016 at Ayala Center Cebu will be overflowing with travel agencies and insurance companies out to offer you the best deals that your money and BPI credit line can afford.

The event is chance for the highly intelligent fans of Aldub's Maine Mendoza to purchase travel tickets to Manila so they can go there and meet Yayadub and Alden Richards in real life.

Fans of Film Director Lav Diaz can also buy an airfare ticket in this expo organized by the brilliant Eventology, so fans can join award-winning Lav Diaz at the 2016 Arkipel Jakarta International Documentary and Experimental Film Festival.

The travel festival is the venue to book those local travels here and abroad in the cheap, but it's also the chance to buy budget-friendly airfare and hotel stays so Cebuanos can go to the Arkipel Film Festival and enjoy the culture there, including the screening of the most important/hideous Filipino film ever produced in Filipino cinema history: Hele Sa Hiwagang Hapis. 

Travel to Indonesia now and support Philippine Cinema!

You can also watch this video below to see what to expect at the 3rd International Travel Expo and head to Ayala Center Cebu this July 15 to buy either tickets to Manila to join the Cinemalaya Film Festival, a festival that Aldub Fans should support or buy tickets to U.S. and watch Hamilton, the greatest musical ever produced in the entire human civilization.

Then after booking the tickets, maybe eat some good healthy food that has the Best of Cebu Stamp afterwards? Best of Cebu's stamp of great quality ensures you're consuming what best food, drinks and culture that Cebu can offer. Play the video below for info about Best of Cebu.

After purchasing tickets from over 100 booths in the 3rd International Travel Festival, Cebuanos can go watch more Lav Diaz movies, and learn from his work how to stay present, how to detach from our own decision to suffer and how ego is what's driving Cebuanos to use non-medical marijuana, and to use travel as a means to escape the now.


iFlix and Bisaya Short Films

Chapter I: What is iFlix Internet TV?


CEBU, APRIL 20, 2016 – iflix is Southeast Asia’s leading Internet TV service, offering  subscribers unlimited access to tens of thousands of hours of entertainment for a low  monthly price. Consumers can sign up for a 30-day trial with full access to all of iflix’s  world-class features and content without having to submit credit card or payment details to participate. Subscribers will instantly be able to enjoy: 
  • Unlimited access to iflix’s vast library of tens of thousands of hours of top quality Western, Asian and Local content; 
  • Access to iflix on up to 5 devices of their choice, whether phone, tablet, laptop, desktop, connected TV or other connected device; 
  • Share an iflix subscription and simultaneously watch different content on two different devices at the same time for each subscription;
  • Download & Watch Offline feature which allows iflix subscribers to download and enjoy the content of their choosing without a Wi-Fi connection.
CONCLUSION: Devour iFlix now, but not until you read novels and learned how not to use TV and Movies as a form of addiction to replace an unhappiness issue in your life that can only be cured by going to therapy. Eckhart Tolle's Power of Now can help you learn how not to consume too much capitalism.

Chapter II: Review of iFlix Service

Chapter III: Review of iFlix Movies

Movie Review of Brillante Mendoza's Movie, Thy Womb starring Nora Aunor and Lovi Poe

It is stunning and filled with "Detached From Ego" ideas necessary for people who want to deviate from suffering and will remind you of this line in Sylvia Plath's Channel Crossing:

Press Play to watch trailer of Thy Womb

Movie Review of Raya Martin's Festival de Cannes Awardee movie, Independencia:

It is timeless cinema in that it presents us a version of 1898 Philippine history in black and white Old Cinema format but is shot and processed in the 21st Century. 

Raya Martin's Independencia will remind you of that Jessica Zafra review of David Mitchell's novel, where she said something about a book being postmodern and at the same time traditional. So Independencia is traditionally modern or modernly traditional. 2016 is anti-irony, and so this movie is watched best during Throwback Thursdays.

For More Info on iFlix, click HERE


Fly To France This Valentine's Day With Silk Air and Watch French Films

Are you a Cebuano who joins annual Ayala French Film Festivals because you want the next Jacques Audiard film or any foreign film to enlighten you of your daily suffering living the Cebu City Life of heavy traffic, low wages and institutionalized corruption? 

Are you alone this Valentine's because you can't contact your ex-girlfriends, and because all your exes are out there making other men's lives a living hell because clearly these ex-girlfriends are so obsessed with hurting people, controlling them and playing power games with them that the only way they can be saved from their ego-run selves is by reading Eckhart Tolle's The Power of now, by the help of a professional mental therapist and by making amends with their parents, but they don't? 

Do you travel but not out of some ego-gratification popularized by what they call "The Selfie Generation", but you travel because you are invited to, say, South Korea to be a representative of the Philippine Government to defend the rights of marginalized persons with disability? 

If so, then you may want to travel to France and get a breather. And you need affordable promo fares from Silk Air to get to France quick because "SILKAIR CELEBRATES SIA’S 50TH YEAR IN THE PHILIPPINES WITH AMAZING FARES AND EXCLUSIVE TRAVEL PERKS"

It will also provide $50 cash back for every purchase of two tickets beyond Singapore of the same itinerary valid for travel until December 2016 or four tickets to Singapore of the same itinerary valid for travel from April 1 to June 30 and the whole month of December.
The promotional fares are available for the whole month of February for travel period until Dec. 31, 2016 to Singapore as well as to other destinations like Indonesia, Malaysia, India, Australia, and Europe. Passengers can also travel to Hong Kong, Japan, Korea, Dubai, Maldives, New Zealand and South Africa. - From Sun.Star

While you're still working extra hard to raise enough money for the tickets - which won't be a long time because look at the Silk Air promos in the link above that are so affordable, you might just need to work a few extra shifts in your call center job to get them - you can just watch more films and learn to detach from yourself and gain perspective of life away from your ego. 

Another Save Money For France Tip: Cut those P130 Frappucinos you are enslaved to buy. You know they're bad for you because they drown you with Diabetes Sugar, and you know why you still purchase them? Because your ego keeps telling you it makes you feel good. Stop feeding your ego.

Go to coffee shops, and bring a laptop and watch all of Steven Spielberg's movies. Go to Senyor Kimchi or Gibbs' Hot Wings alone on a lazy non-rush hour day where these spots are not crowded, and watch Leos Carax' Holy Motors or Lav Diaz' Norte, and you'll be so engrossed with such formless cinema masterpiece that to order a junk frappucino after the privilege of having seen these movies will be a shame, a decision beneath you. Here are two movies I watched that I suggest you should watch not necessarily in coffee shops because they have graphic sex scenes, but still:

Shortbus - It's a movie about Free Love, and why it cannot happen, unless everyone gets therapy. Yes, including Duterte.

Dogville - It's a movie about subjectivity of right and wrong and "the arrogance of forgiveness" and how most of the suffering is of your mind and ego's incessant creation by which you are enchained.

Book a flight and fly to France and watch French Cinema there not to escape from your suffering, but to carry the pain with you. Unless you get the help of a mental therapist, no amount of travel can help you escape your pain because you made your suffering your identity, and without your suffering, you assumed you'd have no identity, and to not know your identity, you feel, is worse than any amount of suffering. Including the suffering of living in an #Aldub nation.


Problems in Cinema Rehiyon Solved Here in Bisaya Short FIlms


A screening of the 7th CinemaRehiyon Film Festival was in a Collonade Moviehouse, a theater my friend said was a place where you can get stabbed and where men sit beside you and tell you "you're cute". The film festival was filled with films with stamps of independent greatness whose movie posters are splattered with those Laurel leaves that are proof of supposed brilliance.

However, only ten people attend the screenings. How can we get people to watch more CinemaRehiyon movies and get them to support the movement so we can create local noise enough to call the attention of Martin Scorsese, Roy Andersson (still alive?), and P.T. Anderson and Louis CK and Tina Fey and bring them here in Cebu to work on their art?

How can we bring them to El Nido or just Sumilon Sand Bar and get them to make a Bisaya Short Film about how they can help Jessica Zafra and Jerrold Tarog create a film that's going to put Fifty Shades of Grey to shame, and will generate as much success as that Remington Zombie Movie?


1. Get more students outside University of San Carlos and UP and STC - Yes, there were screenings in different major universities. But this isn't enough. We could've gone to UC, UV, CIT and SWU and get English Subject teachers to haul their students to the screenings with the threat of Demerits If They Don't Attend.

Contact the school's Student Councils' Presidents. Access the Faculty Groups. Tap the High School Nerd Clubs, the elite, the smarts, those who listen to Radiohead and watch Lav Diaz movies in the loop in between grade school classes.

Ask them to write about the movies Reflection Paper style, but this time let them read first about the unpretentious writing styles of J.D. Salinger so they can put their thoughts into paper without making readers puke.

2.  Involve the bloggers - Call Cebu Blogging Community Heads and get their power to write more about the event during the event. Get them to go to their Facebook Friends list and ask each Facebook friend that Cebu Film Scene burns if they shun CinemaRehiyon. Tell them to act desperate and needy and helpless. If it worked for Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, damn sure it's gonna work for them.

3. Contact Bisaya Short Films. We have more solutions gathered from reading too much Albert Camus, David Foster Wallace, BrainPickings articles, Guillermo Del Toro's The Strain and Tina Fey's Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.


The Latest Late Review of Lav Diaz' Norte, Ang Hangganan ng Kasaysayan in A Form of a Solution

Problem: You need a long gorgeous meditative film that fills all the essentials of a manual for students studying bipolar disorders and for people who believe that basically all evil people are just sick mental patients deprived of therapy and lamictal. 

And you also need the film to be at least four-hour length but should feel very short but at the same time complete. Then the film has to have shown obvious proof that it is aware of Postmodernism, Post-postmodernism, David Foster Wallace and that fact that people care only for a history that centers themselves. What should you do?

Solution: Finish Lav Diaz' Norte, then take a 5-minute coffee and Lola Towing's tsokolate break. Afterwards, remember what you learned from Lars Von Trier's Melancholia and other similar movies such as Enter The Void, The Elephant, Match Point and Holy Motors. Then forget about them, and then start reading the next NYRB Classic.


Solution To Cebuanos Looking For Jobs: Think About Erik Matti's On The Job Movie

1. Piolo Pascual and Gerald Anderson and Joel Torre could be role models on how you can be an action star. Showbiz equals being rich. Go follow their path, Cebu. You're ready for it: everyday you struggle to look for food and avoid killers in your neighborhood. That kind of action is perfect preparation for showbiz.

2. You know what's better than watching Ekstra and OTJ in the same month? Watching Ekstra and OTJ in a single film, a mash-up. Movie Title: OTJ Ekstra, directed by Lav Diaz, and will just be a really short 5-hour bisaya short film because it's just crass to make it longer. It should be surreal and moving, like Butterflies Have No Memories and Holy Motors, with Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch and Jerrold Tarog for the score. Think of how many Stephen Colbert double ironies and real stories within a non-story we can make! It will be so bold it's cinema porn.

3. Stories that pop out of my head during OTJ: The Wire, whose first season I finished just minutes before I watched OTJ and got weirded out by the cosmic parallel of the movie to D'Angelo Barksdale's sentencing; 30 ROCK episodes, because of the fun twist of how the OTJ police are running after criminals who are both inside and outside prison and who are both fugitives and captives all in the same sequence; The Heat, because of how Joey Marquez' role handles a family member who tramples the law that no one really seems to follow; that one outstanding shooting scene in the sidewalk from No Country For Old Men; and Ethan Hawke's The Purge, because of all that textured intro to highlight that really organic feel IMPORTANT indie films are known for. Probably also Engkuwentro and the jail culture in Jacques Audiard's The Prophet.

4. Piolo Pascual is entertaining to watch because he makes you cringe at the fact that he just - well, I haven't read enough Pauline Kael reviews yet, so I have no right words for this yet but - sucks at acting (see also Ekstra). He's a blank slate when he acts, but not the kind of blank that you get from watching that girl in the Lav Diaz' Youtube clip where she talks about how her father lets go of the bought birds. Or maybe he's a symbol of all that is ugly in Pinoy showbiz, so it makes sense that he's there? Nahh. He's probably only in showbiz because of the male tits OTJ showed. Although I am appreciative of Piolo's role, still, for the set-up of that which I had not seen coming, too.

1. If you can't stand Piolo Pascual, close your eyes and think of him as a talking cat. Now that's entertainment.

2. If you can't handle Gerald Anderson because he shows how much workshops he's had to struggle to land a job, close your eyes and think of him as a really mean and obnoxious Budoy who abuses his supposed deformity to hoard chicks.

3. If you're too unemployed to care about this, then good luck with your law studies so you get to live Piolo Pascual's role in OTJ to the very criminal end.

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