A Movie Review of Sam Mendes' "Spectre" In The Form of A Letter To Senator Bam Aquino

Dear Filipino Senator Bam Aquino:

Sam Mendes' Spectre is fun. It's brilliant. It's filled with magnificent shots and tracking-shot and other cinematic tricks that you can only get from a director who has seen the great classics of Italian Cinema, which include La Dolce Vita.

If you're here to correct me by saying that La Dolce Vita is not an Italian film or you're the type of person who picks at anybody by shouting to their face that their "Phony!" for being mistaken on whether Federico Fellini is Italian, then you might be racist enough to get out of this blog, and start medicating yourself with exercise and diet.

If you're still bothered by people being wrong and by people who name-drop directors because you believe these are phony people who pretend that they know anything, then you might need anti-anxiety and depression medication. Visit Jessica Zafra's blog for help.

Sam Mendes' Spectre is fascinating, and powerful enough to not get you asleep when you're watching a 10pm screening at Ayala. Monica Bellucci is a delight to see crying, and is a fantasy you decided will be real soon. You want to make a Bisaya Short Film about your experience in watching Spectre, but you decide against it because that is not something that normal people do, and you don't want not to be accepted by people you mistake as friends but are actually out there to game you, to fool you, to provide you enough triggers to no longer want to get out of your bed. By the way, the enemy in Spectre is Pale King, which is the title of the posthumous book of David Foster Wallace before he ended his being The Most Excruciatingly Brilliant Novelist of Our Time by killing himself. Have you read that book? I gave my copy to an accountant because the collection of stories is mostly about an accountant who levitates above the boredom of paperwork, which is something that all of our BIR employees can relate to.

Daniel Craig's face is a performance in itself, and he doesn't need to do anything to let us know that he's got the sexual energy enough to pull through a sensual encounter with The Monica Bellucci. Don't watch Daniel Craig's Spectre if you're Rohanna My Friend because the movie is filled with classic symphony music that lulls you to sleep, but if you're me and you revel in the symmetrical frames signature of Wes Anderson and you found elegance in the movies Interstellar, Mad Max: Fury Road, Holy Motors and Once, then you have to watch Spectre/it again. 

Also, don't forget to remind Telstra that they should be here in the Philippines in April now, like you said in the interview, okay? Also, did you know that the biggest enemy of Daniel Craig is a Filipino in the face of Dave Batista? I learned it from Jessica Zafra, and Jessica being the name of The Queen in Dune, the book you're planning to read. How's the book?

Love,

Richard Abad
bisayawriter(at)gmail(dot)com
society6.com/richardabad