5 Reasons Brad Pitt Should Make Movies Here In Cebu Philippines

Dear Brad Pitt:

Here are 5 reasons you should be here in the Philippines, and I enumerate 5 reasons even though I read from Nicholson Taleb that some things are meant not to be reasoned, and it causes harm to give reasons and build a narrative:

1. There's great food here, and not just food that Angeline Jolie can't eat. I mean food that's sustainable, that's organic, progressive and delicious. I'm talking about our grilled chicken, such as the ones sold in Chicken Deli, that's not only healthier because they're grilled, but culturally significant, too, because this is a product of our own and not a by-product of the West, where you live.

Or I don't know, maybe you're living in the United States because who can say that you're not actually already living here in the Philippines, hiding, gathering material for your next film, reading David Foster Wallace in Moalboal, Cebu, like what the poet James Hamilton-Paterson did?

Bisaya Short Films presents "Chicken Deli: An Ode to David
Foster Wallace and His Message on How Advertising
Works Today" - Photo from El Mundo
of Cebu Blogging Community

I'm also talking about Studio 108 Yoga Center that sells you healtheir options of juices, and shakes and veggie burgers and everything that attempts to rid us all of the chemicals that cause damage to our souls, if we at all have any souls, because I have only read two or so Albert Camus novels, and all I know still is that I know that there's the known unknown, and the unknown unknown, where the soul is.

Bisaya Short Films presents "Hodor of The Philippines:
Balingit, the Mascot of Chicken Deli"

2. People here make excellent cinema. Have you heard of Lav Diaz? He will stun you with a filmmaking Coens Brothers might drop their jaw after seeing. We have writers here like Jessica Zafra who has pretty much watched all of Whit Stillman, and David Fincher and Woody Allen and all the greatest films ever made, and her writing is a rush of wind to your chest.

3.  You can come here and teach us the good side of insurance systems and  the scams. With your influence, you can get Nicholas Taleb to come here and talk about good practices in the insurance business. Remember that movie you made with Adam McKay, The Big Short, where you exposed the nastiest business in the real estate market? 

You can actually do a lot of good for the depraved real estate agents here when you help us understand such terms as: Mortgage, Credit and Claim. We can also help you find a lawyer if you need help in starting a business should you want to start a production company and help me make Bisaya Short Films. 

We can lead you to the right people to donate money to, so you can help more people here and get filmmakers more support.

4. We have many money-making diplomat mills here in the Philippines, and many universities here teach students nothing but the phoniest kind of education that leads to no job and drains our public funds, but if you're here, you can help us not make it like that anymore. 

You can get you and Angelina Jolie's kids here to get their degree, and so you can see it yourself how bad our system is. If Angeline Jolie needs a part-time job, she can do hosting jobs, and I can recommend her to most people I know. 

Anyway, this might sound Suntok Sa Buwan (you know that saying? You should google it) but it's nice an idea really if you and Angelina are here. You can do a lot of good, and help us with our traffic situation because if the world knows you live here, they'll definitely do everything to make your lives better. You are stars. You don't deserve the kind of bad traffic. Also, Philippines is a perfect place to read J.D. Salinger novels if you're into that, but let's reserve that to a different blog post.

Yours truly,
The Katabang of House Kalunasan