Solution To Cebuanos Looking For Jobs: Think About Erik Matti's On The Job Movie
1. Piolo Pascual and Gerald Anderson and Joel Torre could be role models on how you can be an action star. Showbiz equals being rich. Go follow their path, Cebu. You're ready for it: everyday you struggle to look for food and avoid killers in your neighborhood. That kind of action is perfect preparation for showbiz.
2. You know what's better than watching Ekstra and OTJ in the same month? Watching Ekstra and OTJ in a single film, a mash-up. Movie Title: OTJ Ekstra, directed by Lav Diaz, and will just be a really short 5-hour bisaya short film because it's just crass to make it longer. It should be surreal and moving, like Butterflies Have No Memories and Holy Motors, with Trent Reznor and Atticus Finch and Jerrold Tarog for the score. Think of how many Stephen Colbert double ironies and real stories within a non-story we can make! It will be so bold it's cinema porn.
3. Stories that pop out of my head during OTJ: The Wire, whose first season I finished just minutes before I watched OTJ and got weirded out by the cosmic parallel of the movie to D'Angelo Barksdale's sentencing; 30 ROCK episodes, because of the fun twist of how the OTJ police are running after criminals who are both inside and outside prison and who are both fugitives and captives all in the same sequence; The Heat, because of how Joey Marquez' role handles a family member who tramples the law that no one really seems to follow; that one outstanding shooting scene in the sidewalk from No Country For Old Men; and Ethan Hawke's The Purge, because of all that textured intro to highlight that really organic feel IMPORTANT indie films are known for. Probably also Engkuwentro and the jail culture in Jacques Audiard's The Prophet.
4. Piolo Pascual is entertaining to watch because he makes you cringe at the fact that he just - well, I haven't read enough Pauline Kael reviews yet, so I have no right words for this yet but - sucks at acting (see also Ekstra). He's a blank slate when he acts, but not the kind of blank that you get from watching that girl in the Lav Diaz' Youtube clip where she talks about how her father lets go of the bought birds. Or maybe he's a symbol of all that is ugly in Pinoy showbiz, so it makes sense that he's there? Nahh. He's probably only in showbiz because of the male tits OTJ showed. Although I am appreciative of Piolo's role, still, for the set-up of that which I had not seen coming, too.
Solutions:
1. If you can't stand Piolo Pascual, close your eyes and think of him as a talking cat. Now that's entertainment.
2. If you can't handle Gerald Anderson because he shows how much workshops he's had to struggle to land a job, close your eyes and think of him as a really mean and obnoxious Budoy who abuses his supposed deformity to hoard chicks.
3. If you're too unemployed to care about this, then good luck with your law studies so you get to live Piolo Pascual's role in OTJ to the very criminal end.
