A Cinema Lover's Problem Solved By Drinking Cranberry Juice
Problem: You're a movie lover. Movies bring you to a dimension far better (or worse, if you're into Fifty Shades of Grey) than reality, and this is where you want to live all your YOLO life. You want to watch as many movies as it's possible to illegally download online.
You went to film festivals like Cebu International Documentary Film Festival and Cinemarehiyon just to consume films, learn survival tactics and become so filled with life, you want to live more. To live longer suddenly becomes the only option.
Seven things had happened to you when you joined the Cinemarehiyon and Cebu International Film Festival:
1. You've seen the short film "U.S.F.A." by Jason Paul Laxamana and judged it as a film that criticizes how almost all festival films take life too seriously that they miss the point of cinema: to have fun.
U.S.F.A. gets why Woody Allen is a superstar filmmaker: making people laugh is the ultimate utility of film.
2. You've seen Raymond Red's Himpapawid and you thought it was a thrilling revenge movie with a cynical view of how a person can suddenly crack and murder people because of mental illness disguised under poverty.
Poverty in this movie is a cycle in a Filipino's life that never ends. You doubt that this is an accurate portrayal of how Filipinos deal with problems because you find nothing of the monstrous sense of humor you usually get from speaking to your Filipino friends.
You want to say that this could be a movie of an unhappy disenchanted cynic who is lied to by the minions of depression, but you can say nothing of the sorts. All you could say is:
the director could be happier by watching Broad City, Bored to Death, and re-watching all of Woody Allen's films.
the director could be happier by watching Broad City, Bored to Death, and re-watching all of Woody Allen's films.
3. You've seen Graham Cock's Blood and Carpet, whose director said to me that he was often inspired by David Lynch's surreal work. It's a psycho-thriller about mental illness, so you finished the black-and-white movie even if its thickly accented actors couldn't make you understand what was said.
You're reminded by this movie of P.T. Anderson's Inherent Vice, which was outstanding even if it's just mostly spoken words on still shots of Joaquin Phoenix. You're writing to Graham if he could please send you the subtitled movie so you would know whether to agree on why Blood and Carpet won Best Picture in Cebu International Film Festival.
4. You've seen Kenneth Dagatan's Sanctissima, and thought it was a short film made by a tasteful Leos Carax-level film master. The last scene of a bloody woman and a man lying on the floor was arguably a Da Vinci painting. This film should be seen by everyone who thinks thoughts like " Monsters eat aborted babies for their monster babies, so at least there's food in trash, right?".
5. You've seen Sonia's Story, and thought its surrealist cinematography is a breath-taker and is eye-candy for those who loved the great art film classics such as Baraka, Holy Motors and Samsara.
Despite what the director said during the open forum, the director of this film should make a Bisaya Short Film with Jerrold Tarog and Jessica Zafra.
6. You've seen BattleDream Chronicles fron Martinique, and it is an animation of the highest quality, with action scenes that take you back to the greatness of Animatrix and Final Fantasy.
The movie's an intelligent, fast-paced thriller that is so at the grips of how detached from reality our modern Facebook life is today. It's a wonderful film testament to why everyone's on Facebook: there is an apocalypse coming via climate change, so we might as well YOLO our lives out.
7. You've seen Ana Mary Ramos' Inframundo, and thought it was a movie homage to Coen Brothers' No Country For Old Men; both movies tackle one thing: you die for no reason because you lived.
9. You've seen the short film Happy Shack, and thought it was a delightful movie about nothingness and the indifference of the universe. You think it's a powerful film about powerlessness, submission to the absurd and why we should just go watch an Eric Rohmer movie now, and dance Naenae until we die.
10. You've seen the short animation "Dinner For A Few", and thought it's an elegant graphic take on the class struggle resonating the brilliance and sharp action drama presented in that latest must-watch Chris Evans blockbuster, Snowpiercer. It's a must-see, just look at all those leaves.
After all this, you realized you want to do everything in your power to live longer just to watch movies for movies' sake. What do you do?
Solution:
Drink cranberry juice so you can watch more movies.
You know in the must-watch "Why Is Jessica Zafra not reviewing this show?" important HBO TV series "Bored to Death", there was an episode of George wanting to get rid of the "medical marijuana" in his system because the Magazine he owned was doing a company drug test?
George there, if my friend from Lead Character Chronicles blog is right, could drink cranberry juice because it cleans the urine.
We couldn't confirm that, but what can be confirmed is: cranberry juice is an answer, even if you don't know the question.
Cranberry is more of focus here because I had a friend whose father died of renal failure and I just attended an awareness campaign sponsored by Fly Ace Corporation, the people behind the brand Old Orchard cranberry juices.
George there, if my friend from Lead Character Chronicles blog is right, could drink cranberry juice because it cleans the urine.
We couldn't confirm that, but what can be confirmed is: cranberry juice is an answer, even if you don't know the question.
Cranberry is more of focus here because I had a friend whose father died of renal failure and I just attended an awareness campaign sponsored by Fly Ace Corporation, the people behind the brand Old Orchard cranberry juices.
An idea hit me: what they're doing is campaigning with health institutes for children in schools to be healthier by drinking lots of liquids and to get rid of school distribution of sodas.What they're doing passes now as social activism, which is one of what Bisaya Short Films is about. Social cause plus business equals a better world. I'm in.
I join the bandwagon because the healthier the people, the more active the global movie industry is. More movies means more happiness to you, so helping them protects your interest and mine.
So let's trim the fat: you will drink cranberry juice one glass a day now because it rids your body of toxins, unless you're diabetic and unless it's your life's meaning to have toxins in the body because you know, you live different. We respect the cause of those who choose to die.
Yes, bottled cranberry juices in the supermarket have high-fructose syrup. Yes, high-fructose's danger is still in debate, but did you know cocaine was healthy once?
Yes, you die anyway either way. But we live unpretentiously, and the reality is you cannot comply eating all the fruits your body supposedly needs because you're weak and you enjoy being weak and you still want to live for instinct reasons and there is glory in accepting yourself.
Yes, you die anyway either way. But we live unpretentiously, and the reality is you cannot comply eating all the fruits your body supposedly needs because you're weak and you enjoy being weak and you still want to live for instinct reasons and there is glory in accepting yourself.
The trick in picking the best cranberry juice: look for anything that says 100% Juice, and go find those that don't show "high-fructose corn syrup" in the list of ingredients. That's as good as it gets.
Drinking bottled juices with 100% fruit concentrate does more good and practically no harm, just as there is no harm watching a few Michael Bay movies once in a while to clear out your high-level palette of cinematic taste after watching Lav Diaz and Jerrold Tarog-inspired Bisaya Short Films.
A Bisaya Short Film Project
